Blog 23- Wants and Needs

As of this moment there are a few things I want and need. To start off, my top five wants.

5. A free ride through the rest of undergrad and graduate school. Let’s be honest, I’m not rich and things cost money. Actually, financial security throughout life would be great too.

4. A car. Mostly for reason #1. Plus, it’s a car. Not necessarily a new one, just something I could get around in so I don’t have to mooch off rides or worse yet, be stuck.

3. A letter from my biological family, a picture, a story, a memory. Anything that would tie me to my heritage.

2. A trip to the Galapagos Islands. I was offered a chance under the condition I would have to pay for it. As of now, it’s not clear if the offer still stands, let alone how I’m going to finance it.

1. My biggest want. To see my boyfriend. Not to hear from him in a text, or talk to him over Skype, but to actually see him in person, hug him hold his hand. Feel his warmth as we sit close, staring into his beautiful eyes as he smiles.

What I actually need to get these wants.

5. Money. Scholarship, internship, a great job, low cost of living, decent car, cheap food, make a million dollars every year or so. Win the lottery.

4. Money. And someone selling a decent car at a decent price.

3. A miracle.

2. Money. And a confirmation that the trip is on.

1. A car. Which requires money.

So of my top 5 wants at the moment, four of them require money to happen, and one only requires a miracle. Yeah. Money may be the root of all evil, but it is a currency in which I need in order to fulfill my wants. And I guess in a way, acquiring that much money and keeping it would require a miracle too. So nothing short of miracles. Glad I keep my wants so down to Earth and simple.

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Blog 22- Advice on a Topic I Know Little About

Love

So I have this amazing boyfriend. The manners of a gentleman, the body of a greek god, the charm of a Sinatra song, and the heart of a child. Go ahead and read this this and think, nah-awh, my boyfriend is better. Maybe to you he is, that’s alright. I’ve never met him, and I probably never will. Maybe you two are the cute sweethearts from high school. Maybe you’ve met in college. Or at that weird summer job you held one year because you were desperate for money. Everyone has their own story.

I’m not here to tell you my story.  Well, in a way, I am, but it won’t be about how we met, but about how I got to that point.

I wasn’t the girl who went out and partied on the weekend, went clubbing or quite frankly many social events outside of family in high school. Mostly, because I was busy. And I chose to be. I was an all-year athlete. Was in more than a dozen extracurricular activities. I had two jobs by the time I could work and was in the honors classes. And we live out in farm country. I may not have lived on a farm, but out there, there’s always stuff that has to be done. Basically, I never had time to hang out, nor sleep for that matter. Plus, I may not have been the prettiest girl in school. I wasn’t ugly, just that I wasn’t the pretty girl in one of the cliques. I was more of a nerd and an athlete, and I’m proud of it. I made friends, not the we’re-friends-because-I-need-you-for-some-reason-or-another, but those lifelong friends, grounded, level headed, intelligent friends. Not that we also didn’t do stupid things, it was mainly just us though.

Anyways, it was about the time when romance and couples were a serious thing. Everyday it seemed like people were either celebrating an anniversary of sorts, or getting their hearts broken. Everyone around me, friends, strangers. Everyone it seemed. Then there was me. Not that I was desperate to have a date, or be in a relationship, it did make me a little sad some days, made me wonder if I was ever going to be in a serious relationship. Although I never did anything about it. I didn’t wear a lot of make-up, practically none (as in mascara only was a “good day”), I didn’t flirt, I didn’t dress differently, and I was myself. For two reasons. If someone was going to love me, they’d have to love me for who I am. Scars, personality, lifestyle and all. To me there was no use in trying to be something I’m not for someone to love me, and then have to either keep a charade up forever, or to have them realize I basically lied about who I am. The other reason, I’m lazy too. I wasn’t going to spend four hours in the morning doing my hair and make up to attract a guy that I’d be too busy for anyways. Plus, on meet days, the hair gets ruined, and the makeup runs.

So all through high school I was busy and dateless. I had one “date” to prom that we tried to make it work, and it just wasn’t there. The Disney fairy tale thing. So it basically ended before it began. And say what you will about  being busy and not having dates. I was successful in my own rights and graduated. I was about to begin college, and in the back of my mind I wondered if I was going to be the old lady with 17 cats when I was 80, alone forever. By the time I got to college, I had decided that it didn’t matter. Relationships are hard work and I’d instead focus on my work, like normal. Not that I’d given up on love and relationships, but I stopped looking for them.

And then something amazing happened. I stopped looking, my grades stayed up. And the next thing I know, I was in a relationship. And it felt right. (It may have been like four months later or so, but really, time is irrelevant.)

All I’m saying is that love finds a way eventually. Stop looking for it, or expecting it. If you have a dream guy in mind, or think every guy that walks by could be the one, you’ll miss the one sitting next to you all semester. Who knows, he could be the one. Just open your mind and heart, stop looking for it, give everyone a chance, even if they aren’t your ‘type’ and love will find a way. And it will surprise you, but that’s how love works. Don’t expect it to happen the next day, the next month, the next year. The right person has to come along into your life, and when they do you’ll know. Give it time and stop pressuring it, or yourself. You don’t need a boyfriend to e happy, or successful. Just be yourself and enjoy life. Somewhere along the way of enjoying your own company, you’ll meet someone with whom you enjoy their company as much.

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Blog 21- Things I’ve Learned That School Didn’t Teach Me

1- Never forget where you came from. Pulvis et umbra sumus. We are but dust and shadow. Even if you hate your past, never forget it. In there are people who put you where you are today, so never forget that we can disappear at moment’s notice.

2- Old style soda in glass bottles are better than in plastic or metal. Metal is second.

3- Expect three awesome things to happen everyday. This can be a piece of chocolate, a text from a friend, a minute of sunshine on a cloudy day, or a warm sweatshirt after you’ve been forced to stand in the cold rain for hours. If worst comes to worse, making you own day with a bowl of ice cream counts as well.

4- Never drink or eat something new before an exam. Just because it’s exotic doesn’t mean it is good for you, and if it tasted funny going down, it probably won’t sit very well during that exam.

5- If offered a break for food at work, take it. You never know when you’ll eat again.

6- Venting to a human being is the perfect way to solve a life crisis or problem. It forces you to sort out your feelings and thoughts in a logical way, explore possible outcomes and come to a decision. If not, you at least have it off your chest and it makes you feel better. Input from the victim forced to listen is a bonus.

7- Skipping classes to sit on a bathroom floor for a best friend in need is worth every moment-even after the sickness you’ve acquired the next day. If you are willing to put your head on the bathroom floor, you know who your true friends are, I mean, I’m not sticking my head on the floor for a stranger. Plus, it’s class time you aren’t sitting through.

8- The best things in life are free. Unless you chose to buy dinner for your grandmother just to have a reason to go over and talk about everything and nothing at all. And there is never a guaranteed tomorrow.

9- Nothing is and no one are perfect. If it was, we would never enjoy life. It would be a monotonous frolic through the daisies. Personally, I like a bit of sorrow and misery in life- it makes me realize that happiness is a precious commodity.

10- The key to life is how you react to plan B. I’m not saying to skip plan A; plan out every detail to plan A to make it flawless, so it can be executed with perfection. Never skip this step. Always have a not-as-well-planned-out “just in case” plan that requires a lot of improvising. When plan A goes wrong, how you carry out plan B via spur of the moment decisions is who makes you are in life.

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Blog 20- Twenty Facts About Me

1- I hate writing about myself.

2- I love Batman. Maybe borderline obsession.

3- I love my dog.

4- I have slight trust issues.

5- I have failed exams.

6- I have never failed a major exam/final.

7- I began this blog as a ‘I will if you will’ thing. (Now I just enjoy it)

8- I’m actually pretty personable.

9- I am a very secretive person.

10- I do act immaturely every now and then.

11- I have a mysterious scar that wraps around the majority of my rib cage.

12- When I was younger, my philosophy was ‘if I’m going to go and get dirty doing the same thing tomorrow, why would I change my clothes from the day previously? They’ll just get dirty again’.

13- I used to draw the sun on the corner of every drawing when I was little.

14- I have tried to balance the switch to the light in the middle to see if the lights would ever dim.

15- Bubble wrap still requires the utmost supervision around me.

16- If I get bored, I will become annoying. Not talking, just annoying. Like clicking the pen over and over and over.

17- I love running, but I am very unmotivated.

18- I am an amazing procrastinator.

19- Thankfully, I work great under pressure.

20- I am very self-conscious how others view me. Not paranoid, but I tend to act out very little around people who are complete strangers.

 

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Blog 19- Something I Am Struggling With

I’m going off to college in the fall. It will be fun and a great experience. However, I’m worried about a friend. I don’t know why. She seems reclusive to me as of late, and I don’t know why. We have been best friends since 5th grade and although we have our differences every now and then, we have always been there for each other. Yet since summer has begun, she seems like she is disappearing faster than sand running through your hand. I shouldn’t be worried, stuff is changing for both of us, but maybe I did do something. Was I over-protective? Was I not there for her enough? I know I may have had my faults, but were they too many to ignore? Was I too honest about my thoughts on her boyfriend? Too many what ifs, and not enough answers. Maybe this is nothing at all. But she seems upset, but doesn’t want to talk. I won’t push her, but it still makes me sad.

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Blog 18- A Story From My Childhood

When I was younger, as the title implies, my friend and I used to invent. Looking back it was less of “inventing” and more of creating new solutions to old problems. More of a Rube Goldberg style. Anyways, our biggest “invention” was a toothpaste machine. Basically you would cut a string of some sort, and a large weight would fall onto the tube releasing tooth paste. Really, that’s all it boiled down to. Looking back I can think of several improvements to increase the overall accuracy and productiveness of the machine, let alone the aesthetic appeal. That’s irrelevant at this point in time.

So we were up late in her garage. As in really late, even for little kids. And we were working on this machine that was going to make us a fortune. With a lot of duct tape, floss and tooth paste wasted from the building stage, we got hungry. So we snuck back into her house and grabbed us some snacks.  We crept in because we thought her parents were sound asleep.  Little did we know.

As we were making our way back into the garage, we walked down the steps. Our invention was in the middle of the garage in a large clearing if you will. So we are talking and laughing and figuring out what to do to make it work. We set back to work.

All of a sudden, we hear the loudest BANG! Her parents had snuck into the garage and hid under the stairs and had waited for us to come back to scare us. It was the best. We were so terrified by the sound. Her parents are practically rolling on the floor laughing at our faces, which must have been priceless. They had set off those party poppers, the ones that spray confetti. Anyways, that was one of my most priceless moments in my life that I shall never forget.

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Blog 17- Favorite Picture of Myself and Why I Like It

I think this is my favorite picture of myself. I’m not one for selfies or such, so I don’t have too many to choose from, but this is definitely up there in my favorites. This was taken shortly before my prom, with my hair curled and pulled up into a bow. The dress was a gorgeous midnight blue, satin, and looked stunning. My dog looks dashing and it is a marvelous picture of her. The photo is not edited beyond  making it appear as a painting, so there should be no confusion to whether or not I am photoshopped. Overall, I just think I look nice. Plus, prom was great  so it makes me remember what a wonderful time I had that night.

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