I miss a lot of things. Friends that move away, handwritten letters, and periods of my life.
What I miss the most is a memory of a day and the way it made me feel.
It was a time, before we had gone our separate ways, that a friend of mine shared with me. We ended up losing touch, but that was one of my favorite times. Of my friends, he was the one I could connect to. I wasn’t the girly girl at everything; helpless, play with dolls and make up kind of girls that was afraid of mud. I was the girl that camped, that fished, that shot a gun, had a dead aim with a bow. And he was the guy that could be friends with that kind of girl. We kept in touch and wrote letters every few days in the summer.
We ended up losing touch after he got a girlfriend. We were so close and I almost felt awkward and gave him space after his girlfriend got upset that we were so close. I didn’t want him to lose her on account of me, he seemed so happy to be with her. I regret it now, though given the chance I’d do it all the same. It broke my heart in a way to lose him, I mean, I gave up my best friend. It’s him, our friendship, and that time of my life that I’ll miss the most I think.
Anyways, I could write a book about him and such forth, but I’ll keep it to my favorite memory of us. It was summer, maybe early fall. But the weather was beautiful. We went out to my pond and went fishing. For hours we fished, never catching too much. We talked about things, and life, and never stopped our endless conversation unless we caught a fish, then we’d pick right back up.
Well, we decided to finally take the paddle boat out and try to fish in the middle of it to see if we could catch bigger fish. So we took it out and sat there in the silence. The pond was as smooth as glass, the wind rustled the trees lightly, and you could hear the woods and pond come to life. The fish lept out of the water while the birds dove in. The sun was warm and for the first time I had actually felt happy. Like that solemn happiness that people get when they climb a mountain or get up and watch a dawn. That peace in your soul, this is what life is about moments. We never talked about it, and I will never know if he felt like that too, but I know I’ll never forget that feeling. I’ve climbed mountains, I’ve watched dawns break, but it’s not the same.
It’s that moment, the peaceful solitude next to him, that entire day really, that I miss, but I will never forget.