Blog 22- Advice on a Topic I Know Little About

Love

So I have this amazing boyfriend. The manners of a gentleman, the body of a greek god, the charm of a Sinatra song, and the heart of a child. Go ahead and read this this and think, nah-awh, my boyfriend is better. Maybe to you he is, that’s alright. I’ve never met him, and I probably never will. Maybe you two are the cute sweethearts from high school. Maybe you’ve met in college. Or at that weird summer job you held one year because you were desperate for money. Everyone has their own story.

I’m not here to tell you my story.  Well, in a way, I am, but it won’t be about how we met, but about how I got to that point.

I wasn’t the girl who went out and partied on the weekend, went clubbing or quite frankly many social events outside of family in high school. Mostly, because I was busy. And I chose to be. I was an all-year athlete. Was in more than a dozen extracurricular activities. I had two jobs by the time I could work and was in the honors classes. And we live out in farm country. I may not have lived on a farm, but out there, there’s always stuff that has to be done. Basically, I never had time to hang out, nor sleep for that matter. Plus, I may not have been the prettiest girl in school. I wasn’t ugly, just that I wasn’t the pretty girl in one of the cliques. I was more of a nerd and an athlete, and I’m proud of it. I made friends, not the we’re-friends-because-I-need-you-for-some-reason-or-another, but those lifelong friends, grounded, level headed, intelligent friends. Not that we also didn’t do stupid things, it was mainly just us though.

Anyways, it was about the time when romance and couples were a serious thing. Everyday it seemed like people were either celebrating an anniversary of sorts, or getting their hearts broken. Everyone around me, friends, strangers. Everyone it seemed. Then there was me. Not that I was desperate to have a date, or be in a relationship, it did make me a little sad some days, made me wonder if I was ever going to be in a serious relationship. Although I never did anything about it. I didn’t wear a lot of make-up, practically none (as in mascara only was a “good day”), I didn’t flirt, I didn’t dress differently, and I was myself. For two reasons. If someone was going to love me, they’d have to love me for who I am. Scars, personality, lifestyle and all. To me there was no use in trying to be something I’m not for someone to love me, and then have to either keep a charade up forever, or to have them realize I basically lied about who I am. The other reason, I’m lazy too. I wasn’t going to spend four hours in the morning doing my hair and make up to attract a guy that I’d be too busy for anyways. Plus, on meet days, the hair gets ruined, and the makeup runs.

So all through high school I was busy and dateless. I had one “date” to prom that we tried to make it work, and it just wasn’t there. The Disney fairy tale thing. So it basically ended before it began. And say what you will about  being busy and not having dates. I was successful in my own rights and graduated. I was about to begin college, and in the back of my mind I wondered if I was going to be the old lady with 17 cats when I was 80, alone forever. By the time I got to college, I had decided that it didn’t matter. Relationships are hard work and I’d instead focus on my work, like normal. Not that I’d given up on love and relationships, but I stopped looking for them.

And then something amazing happened. I stopped looking, my grades stayed up. And the next thing I know, I was in a relationship. And it felt right. (It may have been like four months later or so, but really, time is irrelevant.)

All I’m saying is that love finds a way eventually. Stop looking for it, or expecting it. If you have a dream guy in mind, or think every guy that walks by could be the one, you’ll miss the one sitting next to you all semester. Who knows, he could be the one. Just open your mind and heart, stop looking for it, give everyone a chance, even if they aren’t your ‘type’ and love will find a way. And it will surprise you, but that’s how love works. Don’t expect it to happen the next day, the next month, the next year. The right person has to come along into your life, and when they do you’ll know. Give it time and stop pressuring it, or yourself. You don’t need a boyfriend to e happy, or successful. Just be yourself and enjoy life. Somewhere along the way of enjoying your own company, you’ll meet someone with whom you enjoy their company as much.

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About lbannister117

I’m the outdoorsy kind of girl, one of those rugged beasts. Try hard, play hard, take no prisoners kind of people. I have the intelligence, and the feminism, but yet I'm still the hard-core ‘one of the guys’ kind of girl. I enjoy the company and views of others, and love having in depth conversations about everything under the sun, whether it be politics, the weather, an event in history, the news, or simply a good story.
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